A poditive post!

Things are changing all the time.  I found an old notebook a couple of weeks ago... My weight when my Dad died was 15:10 the same weight I've stuck at since last July. Coincidence? I think not.  Around the same time I had a funny blip. I got on the scales and my weight had gone down to 15:7 excellent! What did I do try to self sabbotage (rollseyes) but I can't binge anymore and I can't over eat so how did I do it? I ate wrong foods, foods I knew bloated me, ie bread, a McDonalds Big Mac as I can still eat them as not greasy... Did it work? YES!


Anyway I sat and reflected on this. How crazy was I?  Surely its time to let go and lose this weight. Afterall I'm losing the inches thats for sure.  My Dad would be proud of me :) So I wrote down in my journal what I had done and moved on.


Well that was just under two weeks ago.  Today I had a sneeky peak at the scales (as you do) and they say 15 stone 5.5 :) so I am 4.5lb down ! and I don't officially weigh until 1st May! as I weigh and measure once a month for my blog :) Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Now I have broken some pretty strong habits while slimpodding.  I am no longer a chocoholic :) I no longer binge :) I no longer graze all day :) I no longer live on rubbish and junk food :)My diet head has gone. I no longer eat crisps :) I no longer like greasy food and takeaways (other than the odd BigMag (giggles)... but the hardest habit of all for me to break was ....


Self sabbotage!


Goodness me its been a toughie, rearing its head at every positive thing that happens, but do you know what I finally believe I have squished it and I'm ready for the next part of my journey :) Its the most amazing feeling to be rid of it it really is :) Its gone forever, good riddance :)


I feel in such an amazing place now. I've eaten normally for weeks and weeks now. Just eating when hungry, making the healthy choice because I want to not because I have to, and most of all, stopping when full.


Its taken me a long time to learn that feeling. To hear that 'full' sign but now I hear it loud and clear I really do. I now for the first time in years and years know the difference between hunger and thirst. I no longer eat through boredom, stress, emotions, upset.... I no longer console myself with food, treat myself with food, or turn to food. Food is fuel, its just food :) OMG how liberating is this :) The loveliest thing is this is long term this is for life now :) I am finally a normal person!  No comments on that bit please :) :) :)


11 days ago I wrote a few mini goals down 


1) to exercise daily again - achieved even with a bad back :)
2) to limit my bread intake to 2 slices a day of brown seeded - achieved
3) to stop the self sabbotage and allow the scales to go down - achieved
4) to eat mindfully at every meal - achieved :)
5) to get into my next goal jeans a pair of size 18 Next jeans - very very very close :)  - work in progress :)
6) to meet a certain lovely person who may visit me - I actually now believe this will happen :)


So my next goal is my size 18 Next Jeans not sure when I will get into them but I will soon :)


Lots has happened. One fantastic change was that before coming
across slimpod I used to be a mega anxious person. Things like
the dentist, meeting people, going out etc etc. I am gradually seeing enormous changes. Yesterday is a prime example. Dental appointment in the evening. In the past this would result in me pretty much climbing the walls with anxiety all day, a nervous ball of anxiety. Yesterday I was calm all day. Got to the dentist and I was still calm, I felt marginally anxious awaiting my turn but I mean a weeny bit, got in the chair and felt relaxed the dentist even asked me if he had the right notes on his screen as hes new and his screen has notes of my terrible anxiety!!! I am guessing the mix of the chillpod and powershower have done this So maybe my fear of meeting new people has gone now too only one way to find out!


I am not saying I would be so relaxed if I needed a filling etc only time will tell!


Exercise - I am no longer a couch potato :) The fit pod really does work. I love my walking and I love my exercise DVD's . I mainly do two miles of Leslie Sansones walking indoors and walk the dog. But I enjoy it :) I look forward to it. In the past with a sore back I'd have used it as an excuse to be lazy but this time I've continued my walking because I want to.


I love my slimpods :)