Friday, 22 June 2012

8 months in

So 8 months of slimpod and how am I doing?

now a size 16-18 top - was a 20

now a size 18 bottom - was a big size 22

Was a couch potato - now exercise daily and enjoy it :)

Used to suffer quite badly with asthma - not suffered for months

Used to be a self confessed chocoholic - now eat it rarely

Used to eat 3-4 packets of crisps a day - now eat them on the odd occassion

Used to graze all day - now eat my 3 meals with the odd snack

Used to binge eat - not able to anymore as I always stop when full

Had zero confidence - this has improved tenfold and continues to improve daily

Used to weigh twice a day - weighing once or twice a week but trying to make this just once a month

I was a terriby negative person - now a very positive person

Was terribly stressy - now calm most of the time.

Has it been an easy journey? - its had it bumpy bits in the road. I call them blips but these days I can move on quickly from a blip and accept it as just that. Skinny people have blips, we all do, it learning to learn from them and move on leaving them where they belong in the past. :)

This has and continues to be an amazing journey for me.  I had a bit of a spaghetti head this week. I think so many changes at once and I started to overthink and analyse everything again. I find if you just relax, do what you are supposed to do with the pods, have faith and get on with life and let them work away in the background they work so much better. So operation relax into it began in earnest again this week and I'm back on top form.

I've managed 91 miles so far for June.  I either walk the dog, walk alone or enjoy the Leslie Sansone DVDs.

I completed the 5 mile boosted fat burning walk for the first time today :) I was so chuffed and proud of myself. I love this DVD but never managed more than 4 miles in the past.

I also completed a few times now the 3 mile express walk :) I love her DVDs they are an all over body workout using all muscles and getting the heartrate in the right place to burn fat so do not be fooled by the word walk !!

I feel slimmer, I feel fitter ( I no longer huff and puff up the stairs but take them two at a time), I have more energy, I am happier, I am calmer, I am positive, I am confident :) I even rather like the new me :)

I've always had huge anxiety, panic, and low confidence and self esteem. Living my life as close to home (my comfort zone) as possible.  I guess its abit like living in a confined space, a bubble, feeling safe...  Well someone popped that bubble! I am beginning to do more, slow but sure, baby steps.

On 9th July though I am going to London. Only for a short visit this first time but yes this anxious ball of anxiety has booked her tickets and plans to go ahead and go to London on the train.  This is an enormous step forward for me it really is. I haven't been on a train for 30 years. I haven't been to London for 30 years.  In fact out of all the scarey places I could ever imagine as the old Jackie London was the scariest. So watch this space and I will let you know if I succeed. I certainly plan to :)

I noticed on a couple of occassions when hormonal I have turned to junk food, ie crisps, choccie etc, but its laughable really as once full I have to stop, and then I usually have to skip dinner as I am still full! I just cannot believe how far my relationship with food has come. I now eat normally :) how cool is that? and I have done for months now.

I cannot believe how far my confidence has come. I see daily changes and I'm loving it.  Given the chance, done properly, and having faith and determination these pods are quite literally life changing :)

Sunday, 10 June 2012

feel abit like a butterfly emerging!

So 3 years ago this was me

What was I like??  A hermit!  I hid away as much as possible. Avoided people as much as possible. Avoided phone calls as much as possible. I became so clever at avoiding I don't even think my family realised how bad I was :( I hated going out. I hated attending any events and often made excuses and didn't go. I had zero confidence. I was terribly negative. I didn't sleep well. Food was my comfort, food was my treat,  I turned to it for everything. I hated driving. I lived in black pull up stretchy trousers and tshirts.  We even got a puppy - Carla - aka princess barky knickers. I thought it would make me get out walking etc it did to a point but I made excuses as much as possible and Carla was scared of people, scared of everything, but then so was I??

So I started slimming world at home with help of my amazing online group of friends on Minimins this was me weighting in at 17 stone 10 on day one

In my head if I lost the weight I'd find me again. I'd be confident I'd be happy.  Was that really going to happen? I doubt it, but I think many of us think it will miraculously happen as we lose the weight and I am sure to a point it would.  So I struggled and struggled, fell off plan constantly as I'd be good, then binge, etc etc.  My week would be like many others on a diet  weigh day, starve as then you weigh less on the scales don't you?  get weighed. If I gained - console myself with food, if I lost well you have a treat don't you? with food as thats what I did. Then the following day its hard to get back on plan so more food and treats and possibly the next day... then the following day I'd wake up OMG what was I doing, weigh day in four days, how can I pull it back, how can I lose this week?? so then syn free food and obsessing with what I ate until weigh day and then this awful cycle would start again. Those blasted scales ruled my life :( I lived by that number on the scales. Let them decide on my mood for the day, the week, they are evil. One little number had control over everything :( How sad is that?

So I then read a thread on minimins where one of my friends was listening to Slimpods.. mmm what are these?? I'd tried hypnosis and it didn't work. I'd tried most diets over the last 20+ years and they didn't work. :( but these caught my eye. I did my research and bought a package.  They arrived one Saturday morning at the end of October. I listened and thought 'how does this work?' Here I am day one of my slimpod journey, thought I looked good in my Joe Browns dress hehehehehehe

So I floundered about until mid January really as I didn't set good goals, I didn't always find my positives and my lovely Father in law passed.  Anyway mid January, January 11th to be precise the lovely Sandra called me. We went through what I was doing, we set some goals, I set some mini goals and off I went again. My first goal was go get into a pair of size 20 Next Jeans by end of February. I achieved this on 10th February

My next goal was to get into size a pair of size 18 Next Jeans by end May. I seriously didn't think I'd do it I struggled and struggled but I kept going, kept doing my mini goals, my exercise, my positives and on the 24th May I tried on those jeans expecting them not to fit but they did!!!! woohoo did I feel good and here I am in them

So I then had a mini goal. I needed to get into the size 18 Debenhams tunic I fell in love with (it was way too tight, ridiculously tight) by 9th June for Gary's sisters 50th birthday party in Cambridge.  Not only that I was to attend this party. This was way out of my comfort zone. An hours journey, a crowd of people many I wouldn't know, a long journey back etc etc..... could I do it.? Well I struggled but looking back think i've had a bit of a bug all week but put it down to anxiety.  I was so worried I'd have to cancel and not go and spent an awful day yesterday with head fights. I felt like I had this tangled mess in my head that I needed to unravel. How could I ? I was a mess.... so I did what I do best these days and went for a walk !  I got back a calmer Jackie.   I sat and thought about it. I wanted to go so I got out my chillpod and power shower and listened on repeat.  I whinged away to my lovely friends and they all supported me and gave me good advise so I got ready took some tablets and did my make up and wore my size 18 Debenhams tunic ! it fitted perfectly! another goal reached.

So how does this Jackie feel??

Well I am a very positive person these days. Yes I have the odd down day, the odd day I can't find positives but do you know something? On those days my friends on my online diary find them for me!! Seriously its never ceased to amaze me the support and friendship this group of people have given me. They seriously are an amazing group of people who I would be lost without and I'm so proud to call each and every one of them friends.  Then of course, there is the amazing, Sandra at Thinking Slimmer.  I can't thank her enough. I never will be able to as she quite simply handed me back my life. Yes I had a lovely little life but shes helped the real Jackie to emerge again, and why? because she cares so much ((Hugs)) to this amazing woman. Then there is Lloyd at Thinking Slimmer, fantastic guy, who even let me test out my phone call skills on him! ie to ring someone I hadn't spoken to before :) hes so supportive too.  Then the group of fellow slimpodders, all of you have helped me, and Dawn, Darin and Becca have listened to me whinge and ask for help many a time but never once complained they've always helped happily and shared their journeys.

I have confidence again with thanks to Sandra :) I am gradually driving again without having to plan the route down to the last detail.  I am no longer a ball of anxiety.  I no longer stay in all the time. I am gradually changing all of that.  I feel happier, I feel slimmer, I am back in control of food, I control food it no longer controls me :) I have the odd blip but even that is funny. I can chose the wrong foods but I have to stop when full! hehehehehehe its hilarious.  Its like the mind wants to self sabbotage but the pods kick in and I stop as soon as full no matter what the food is. Food is no longer on my mind all day. I exercise every day and love it :)  The new Jackie is still emerging but do join my happily in waving goodbye to the old one won't you? shes gone forever......

So my next step??  ditch the scales - I only weigh 5lb less than when I started but I've lost 34.5 inches since 11 January and the photos show the changes. I even have a real smile :)  I now need to find something I love in a size 16 as my next goal at end of August! Yep a size 16!! its been years since I've been an 18 let alone a size 16 so I'm on the lookout as I need to hang it on my wardrobe as everything else that was hung there now fits :)

Saturday, 2 June 2012

What difference can one year make??

A year - what difference can a year make ????

So another year has passed and  today is my birthday. Another year older so I thought i'd reflect on  whats changed ?? well  so much hasn't it I won't remember it all but lets just do a small reflection

I weighed around 17 stone 2 = this time last year. I had lost 9lb with Slimming world and was struggling. At this point I hadn't found the slimpods as didn't start them until the October. Today I don't know what I weigh but about 15 stone 5 as I chose not to weigh now until asked to 

I've been adding up inches lost since June 2 last year and its around 51-52 inches in total  that sounds mega doesn't it?? 

My waist was a very very unhealthy 46.5 inches  today it is 39 (well probably a bit less but I'm going on last lot of measurements )

Under my butt measured 56 - today its 43.5 

My tummy was a whopping 56 inches too - its now 48 

These are just examples  but blimey one year and all those inches 

I was a mouse. I was miserable. I was anxious 100% of the time. My ibs was awful (actually its flared up yesterday and today to be honest but first time in months ) I was a hermit. I was allergic to exercise. I made any excuse not to walk princess barky knickers. I felt fat and frumpy. I struggled to walk to town without being out of puff and looking like a beetroot. My asthma was bad. Pretty much a prisoner in my own home. No confidence pretty much at zero. Unhappy. very negative. I was a chocoholic, a binge eater, a grazer, I turned to food for every single emotion.,
I had a habit of sucking Jakemans cough sweets type of boiled sweet. Every single day several time a day. They helped me to cope with that nauseous feeling I had constantly from constantly being anxious - I just realised today I've not had any for over a week :)

I lived on revival or rescue remedy. I've not had any for a while now :)

This time last year I was a size 24-26 today I am pretty much a size 18 in most things 

so look at me now 

I am more or less a size 18  I've been wearing size 18s last 2 weeks top and bottom so although not all size 18's fit most do now 

I am happy , positive, confident, I exercise daily and love it. I walk princess barky knickers most days unless good reason not to. I wear nicer clothes and real shoes as my feet are no longer fat  I eat normally. I do not binge. I am no longer a chocoholic. I stop when full. I know the difference between hunger and thirst. I have no wagon to fall off as I'm not on one. I am such a positive person now and can turn any negative into a positive with ease. I am a nicer person to be around. I can talk to people I've never spoken to before.... not sure what else to say but pretty sure you get the picture 

  so any bets on how I'll be this time next year 

This time last year I'd had been obsessing about food all day. Cake, choccie, crisps, takeaways. Today is so different.  I've been so busy all morning. Its now 1.30pm and I am just sat down to eat a bowl of oatso simple with blueberries. Yep this is the first meal today and its what I fancied :) There is choccie birthday cake, muffins, carrot cake, crisps you name it in the house and this was literally what I fancied and I am enjoying it.  I don't even fancy the crisps the cake the choccie..... not interested.

This time last year I'd have been lazy all morning. This year I got up and did 3 Leslie Sansone boosted miles before the kids got up :)

So what difference does one year make ??  alot especially since I found slimpods :)  I've only been podding for 7 months but I can't wait to update when its been a year :)