stressful few weeks and not put any weight on

Well I've had a very stressful few weeks. Chris's leg didn't heal after 5 months in cast so he went in on Wednesday to have a rod and pins in it. It was a real shock to us all just how big an operation it was and how much pain hes been in since bless him.

I am astounded as from my side so many positives

1)  I have remained pretty calm
2) I've been able to chat calmly to him when hes distressed
3) I have a real hospital phobia, can't stand the places or the smell of them yet I've been in twice a day and been totally fine, no panicks, no nothing just been going there to see him
4) I've not emotionally eaten. In fact I've found I've simply eaten what I fancied when hungry and stopped when I'm full. I've been offered food from all angles and turned it down. In fact hubby made a passing comment about me turning aneorexic yesterday as he noticed I wasn't eating that much! hehehehe me, as if!! He can't get the concept that if full and satisfied I simply don't want something even if its something I love
5) I measured after 2 months of regular TTapp. I did the 14 consecutive days and i've stuck with every other day religiously ever since. I've actually lost 17 3/4 inches from where I measure. I also know I've lost more than that ie neck, round the middle, places I don't measure :) I love TTapp as much as I love my slimpods :) now thats saying something
6) Even on my difficult days I've found positives and each time I look back I find more and more I didn't notice, or others point out to me
7) I've not used this stress etc to stop me doing the exercise. In the past exercise was the first thing I'd stop!
8) I've not been a choccie or crisp monster, in fact this week i've not really thought about food in that way. I've just thought 'mmmm I'm hungry what do I fancy' and had that. Simples!
9) I had sweet potato as a jacket potato the other evening. OMG loved it. So simple yet so yummy
10) I've been having a 40 min brisk walk with Carla most lunchtimes
11)I am wearing a top today that was so tight at Christmas I cried :) today it fits nicely :)

I have my days where I feel the old Jackie tries to come back. I have days when I wonder why I did something or why did I have to eat 3 packets of crisps. But you know they really are just 'different days' I'm not bingeing, far from it, in fact I eat so much less but I have hungrier pickier days, thats fine, its actually 'normal'. :)

I've lost all those inches and my weight has remained the same!  Hysterical really! I find the scales a bit of joke these days. Yet OMG I used to be obsessed with them.  They are no longer a tool I require. They are pretty useless. As something is happening. I don't binge. I don't graze all day. I am no longer a chocoholic. I'm healthier. I'm happier. I have confidence again. I exercise ! Slowly all those awful ingrained habits are going one by one. They are all habits. Some just take longer to break than others.

I've faced alot of demons really this last 15 months. I still have a few to face but will slowly deal with them.  I had a pretty bad day on Tuesday. Someone mentioned a 5k race. Can walk it. Was I going? I fell apart! How crazy is that? Well my mind made a match back to a 5k race I signed up for a few years ago to make my Dad proud. He'd died a couple of years before (been 8 years at easter).  I had panick attacks and had to pull out. I was gutted. I knew I wasn't ready to do it, but backing out had it price to pay. I felt a failure again. I'd let my Dad down. I'd let alot of people down. Over the years I buried that deep, but talking about it let the flood gates open, big time. I sobbed my heart out.  But actually I feel better for it now. I needed to let go of it. I'd held onto it for years and it was silly really looking back. Why would he not be proud of me. Look what I've achieved the last few months?

I think sometimes I read into 'different days' too much. I panick incase old Jackie is back. Incase i'm letting old habits come back, but I don't think I am. I think everyone has different days. They just don't dwell on them and let them rule the next few days. They just accept and move on. This is something that I can do most of the time, but guess get caught out occassionally.

This week I do truely believe diet head has gone :) Yes I am still overweight. Yes my BMI is still too high!   But I am happier, healthier, more confident than i've been in years and it will just continue to slowly improve.  The tortoise always wins.  Those that rush to that finish line so often ping back again.  When I cross that finish line I'll know, and I'll be staying there :D

I've not dieted at all with the slimpods. It doesn't work for me. I don't want to ban a food. I don't want to restrict myself. When I started podding I told myself I'd never diet again and I won't. I have to accept that by making that decision I'm not going to drop weight fast, but this for me is a lifestyle change. This is how I want to live the rest of my life. Not a fad. :)

Thats why I am doing exercise I like. Exercise I am comfy with. Exercise that fits in with my lifestyle. TTapp does that. Walking does that. In fact TTapp has strengthened my back, more core, my neck and my posture OMG its amazing. I naturally walk straight (ie no duck feet!) and walk tall. No hunched shoulders. This has had such an amazing impact on me. No backache. No neckache. Less headaches. You name it :) I love the fact no leaping around. Easy to do at home, yet it works every muscle.  The inches drop off and all I need to do is find 15 mins to do it. I feel more alert too. They call it the mind body workout and it is :)  I always remember when I paid out for the TTapp DVD I thought 'is this another gimick that I won't do' at first it was. But since starting it properly 21st January I love it.  I love how it makes me feel afterwards and I love my shape changing.

Fed up of binge eating? Fed up of failing at diets? Then this is the answer :) Its given me back so much. I feel alive again I really do.  I've stuck with it through the tough times, and I'm sure I'll have a few more, but I'm not giving in, as these pods work. They change ingrained habits, but you have to give them the chance to :)