Confidence

Its something I've never really had.  Well I am chatty if I know people but I had no faith in me. Its something I've worked on over the past 12 months, with the slimpods, with Lori, my confidence pod.  I've noticed subtle changes all along but suddenly its like its happened. I can't explain it but I feel that inner confidence, that self esteem, that feel good factor.

I've never loved the skin i'm in not even when skinny. Odd really but even when I was skinny all those many years ago I didn't love me. I always found fault in everything. Yet now I can see all the changes taking place and my figure slowly returning, I seem to accept it, to smile, to think to myself 'yes I can do this'.

I noticed it alot this last couple of weeks with phone calls, skype.  I hated the phone. I had a pretty big phobia of it if I didn't know the person I was speaking to. IF I felt comfortable I'd natter away happily no shutting me up but if I didn't know them OMG I was terrible. Tripping over every word. Panic rising. Feeling sick. Heart going. I would avoid phone calls at all costs.

I clearly remember the first time Sandra said she'd ring me to help me to sort myself out. My FIL hadn't long passed and I was bingeing like a good one.  A call!  Ring me! OMG how was I going to cope. Thing was I wanted to move forward. I wanted the bingeing to stop.  So I said Yes. :) I felt so anxious until the time of the call. I got myself so worked up. The call of course was fine, and it helped me so much.

It was at this time I started listening to the confidence pod and I gained enough , just enough confidence to visit Lori/Harshani for one to one hypnotherapy. We did quite abit on my faith in me and various other bits.

This week, as I say I have so noticed it. I've gone on skype without a thought. Felt okay about it even on a bad hair day (which I often have working at home) ! I even remember joking it was do my hair or do my exercise ! I mean miss allergic to exercise chosing to exercise rather than flatten that spikey hair. Oh and I'd gone up the school like it!!!! hehehehehehe

I have been on the phone alot more, without a thought. Been confident, put my point forward, made suggestions, joined in (possibly too much at times) but yes I did it!

I think we can safely say that my phone phobia has gone. I think I can safely say I now have confidence. Yep taken me until aged 45 (nearly 46) to get there but I am finally there. I am brimming with smiles. Brimming with confidence. Not an in your face confidence, I hope, just a subtle happiness, faith in me!!

I mean who would have thought I'd have blogged and shared my journey? I wanted to just to show others that mine hasn't been quick, no overnight fix, no quick fix but I'm getting there.  

I am in control of food and it no longer controls me. I have taken back control of my life. Lifes for living and I'm living it and loving it! Are you?

So I'm waffling again but I love the slimpods. I love what cognitive hypnotherapy can do for people Just how much it can change things.  As Dawn always says 'Nothing needs to be the way its always been' it really doesn't. Fears, phobias, weight, confidence, bingeing. It can all be changed :) I've not binged since xmas before last. So nearly a year and a half. I can't. I can barely eat past full anymore. I still eat what I fancy but I leave food if I'm full, yep leave food on my plate, even bin it!! rebel aren't I?!!!

Once I hear the full signal I stop. Every now and again I try to shove a couple more mouthfuls in as its yummy but then its like 'oh no stop!' too full.  Funny how we can change really isn't it?

Waffle over - for now hehehehehehehe