Things are changing all the time

Its like new Jackie is emerging all the time. Like I've finally given myself permission to lose the weight! woohoo!

Food really has become fuel. Just food. If you'd told me that a year and a half ago I'd have laughed at you. Food really was everything to me. Its all I thought about from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. I grazed all day. Binged most days. Its like I shoved everything down with food.

I ate if bored, ate if stressed, ate if upset, ate if happy. Every emotion you can think of I ate for it. No wonder I got to the size I was.

When I found slimpods I was failing miserably at Slimming World. Just on the verge of giving up. Then I read about the slimpods and loved the idea of no more dieting. I felt i'd tried most diets and failed and each time ended up bigger than when I started and more miserable. So I ordered the slimpods.

I loved them straight away as they made me feel good inside. Something I'd never had before.

I don't think about food until I am hungry or the others ask me to make their lunch etc.  I often refuse food if I don't need it or want it (eek!) I never refused food in the past even if I had just eaten hehehehehe.

Last night made me think.  My eldest went to the shop to get chocolate. Bless him he came back with a big bar of cadburys for me.  Just as he used to months ago.  I popped it on the side as didn't want it.... urmmmmm in the past I'd have devoured that straight away in one sitting.  Its still sat there today. Its not even calling me at all.  I'm not even bothered if someone else eats some or all of it (eek)!  old Jackie would have hidden it . One did not share chocolate! I'd have eaten it all myself secretly and then disposed of the packaging when everyone at work or school.

I couldn't trust myself around food in the past. I didn't have a full signal and think I took comfort from that over stuffed feeling. It made me feel satisfied. Its like I had to ensure I always had enough food, far too much of it too, we threw so much food away. I no longer worry like this I mean hunger is not an emergency is it? Theres always plenty of food in the house but yes its possible just possible we might run out of something. Mine lot are finding this hard to accept. hehehehehehe

I love the look of fresh fruit and veggies. I love those bright enticing colours. Yet in the past I bet I didn't have one a day let alone 5! I'd tell you I didn't like them. But I realise that's just not true. My tastes have changed so much.

We went to Waitrose and Gary got me some chocolate cake with my coffee. I was hungry so I had some but I didn't really enjoy it as too sweet and rich.  I even left half of my coffee as felt full. Its funny how I have changed.  He still looks at me gone out. Whats the point in leaving a small bit of cake and half a coffee! Just finish it! But I don't want to anymore. I am no longer a dustbin.

My shape has changed beyond recognition. My size 16 jeans are getting lose already. So I am washing and wearing them before they no longer fit. They are pear shaped ones but that's my shape. I suspect over time that will change too :)

Its why I've always chosen an item as a goal.  One single item of clothing that I like. It doesn't matter to me if every size 16 in the world fits me, just one is fine. My goals aren't about a size they are about an item. When that item fits I chose another item I love and that's my next goal. I don't lose sleep over what else fits and doesn't fit. I am not bothered. I can see with my own eyes that the inches are melting away. I have a figure for the first time since having the kids . (Matt is 21 this year) I have a shape. I am proud of my new shape emerging. I no longer look in the mirror and pick fault or turn to food as upset. I  look in the mirror and notice the little changes. Little changes soon equal big changes. :)

I feel good from the inside out. I love encouraging and helping others as my journey hasn't been the easiest. I've struggled with my diet head all along. Others struggle and I love to show them this will pass, just keep going, and it will happen. Never give in.  Trevor is a wise one. He says 'there is no failure only feedback' and how true is that.  I have many negatives that happen but I learn from them.

I think a part of me had to accept. To give myself permission to lose the weight. To be slim.  I think I hid behind that fat for so long it was a comfort to me.  I don't mind how long my journey takes. I am not competing with anyone. This is my journey and I'm happy that's what matters. I am constantly making improvements, gaining more confidence and having more smilie days.

Do the slimpods work?  Yes if you give them the chance to. If you don't fight them. If you simply follow the 3 golden rules and don't try to cut corners they work 400%. What diet gives you that inner confidence before you reach your goal? none!