Wednesday 26 February 2014

I'm back!

I've felt really blurgh lately and I know its because I've got lazier and lazier. Mainly because I've been so busy and then using that as an excuse not to walk, not to exercise and then it set in.... so today i'm back.

I've found I don't sleep well when lazy. I was awake for 3 hours and in the night again and felt like a zombie when I got up and looked like one too.

a few weeks ago I started MUTU. I loved it even though I am so unfit at the moment but I moved on to the intensive workout too quickly for me and I hurt myself. Totally my fault and lesson learnt. So today I got out the DVD again and did core phase 1. Despite being lazy I found that easier still than the first time I did it so thats a plus isn't it ? :) I then decided to pop my Lesley Sansome DVD on and enjoyed a one mile boosted walk. I wanted to try two but think this time I am going to be sensible and listen to my lazy body hehehehe so I don't have an excuse not to carry on. So one boosted mile done too and I feel so much better for it. Tired but better :)  I now need to move some furniture and hoover before the Virgin Media man comes to swap our internet over.  First step in moving away from 20 years of copyright... scarey? no exciting !!!  Then I can have the old BT line and internet removed next month and move on !! woohoo!! I cannot wait. I need rid of it all. New start :)

So today is my new start. :) I've never stopped podding I just stopped believing in myself for a while and then it became a downhill spiral and I kept clambering out of and falling back in. This time I'm staying up :) I can do it.

It became a cycle of drop a size and shove it back on fast. Like being scared of being slim and to a point I was. My head was so mixed up... Then I noticed the eating 'to feel better' and of course to feel better can be stress, upset, ill, etc etc, so that became a loop too.  I feel I've more or less broken that loop now. its 90% better already so fingers crossed as this is my year! I am determined to stop this cycle and keep going rather than going round and round in the same circle.

I realised way back that for me exercise was key. Yet I'm lazy. Never liked sport at school either.  I think my problem was in my head I was always looking for the 'quick fix' still. Not so much diet but exercise related so rather than going with what I liked I kept trying things I didn't to lose the inches quicker but it was always counterproductive. I didn't put this weight on over night and I cannot expect to wake up a size 10 one day, ie just like that! if I did I'd likely die of shock! So I actually need to make some effort myself.

I do believe we are what we eat. I eat crap well what do I expect to look like? Someone talked of beige food at the weekend.  beige = bad = biscuits, bread, crisps, potatoes, quiche etc etc..... it did get me thinking I do eat stodge, we've fallen back into the takeaway once a week, again lazyness but partly me not wanting to look good.  So now I know what I'm doing I can change it can't I?

One takeaway a week is money we don't have so I need to start thinking of recipes we'll all love, easy to make, but better for us. That won't be hard will it? I mean most things are better for us that a McDonalds or fish and chips :)

Exercise, I hate to admit, makes me feel better. I think in a way for too long 'I didn't want to feel better' I didn't want to be thin.  Yet I set out buying my Slimpod to be thin???? I mean whats wrong with me??  It went back to something big in childhood so now it makes sense why I don't want to look good and its been dealt with, so now I can do this as its not holding me back anymore.  Exercise seems to make me feel better, sleep better, and generally have some energy. So today was day one back on the exercise wagon :) Lets see what exercise I can manage, (sensibly) in March :)

Who is with me?

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